So I’ve decided that I have to start documenting the good things that happen, the *authentically* good things… because life is so complicated that when you’re depressed, they’re hard to remember.  So here goes:

1) We had someone new hired recently at work, and her first day was today.  Last friday, I set up her user account and changed out one of the production dual 2.3 G5s with the iMac that Josh had.  Anyway… when I met her today she said that her computer/account “just worked” that morning and it was refreshing because in her experience, that never seems to happen.  I usually feel like the system is a bunch of moderately antiquated equipment glued together with flour and water.  I guess, at least for today, to at least one person, it resembled the perfect network that I always wanted it to be.

2) So today Shig and I had an inpromptu lunch, and I realized after that I miss him so damn much.  We have very similar interests, get along, and struggle with school and motivation in a seemly similar way (e.g., I gave him some of my Adderall today cuz he forgot to take his).  He’s also a great roommate - fairly neat, likes nice things (so buys them for the apartment, and treats the ones I’ve bought well), fun to hang out with.  So I realized how important he was in my life, and hopefully still is…

3) But then later after venting semi-successfully to a chronically coughing Tannitberry, she fell asleep and I went out and started talking to Bago.  Somehow taking the Adderall after 4 hours instead of waiting for 6 cured my irritibility and we started talking about his programming and a little of mine.  I love talking to Bago about “geeky stuff” but sometimes I just don’t have the patience.  The funny thing is that it’s both ways - I get impatient cuz it takes so long to explain stuff, but also because it takes so long for me to get stuff he’s explaining to me.  Anyway, we were talking and I thought “gee, I don’t think there is anything I’d rather be doing right now.”

At that moment I remembered the last three times I’ve thought that - all in the past three months, and all following probably ten years of never thinking that.  Two weeks ago I was glued to my Psych 110 teacher (who isn’t even that “perfect professor” I’ve been looking for).  A week before that I was at Mosaic thinking it.  And before that I was with Tannitberry, doing who knows what - it didn’t even matter.

So to quote traffic,  “So my name’s Marty and today I’m a grateful recovering alcoholic who didn’t eat out of a dumpster.  Thanks.”